Back on episode 71 of the show, Rebecca Ching and I talked about a therapeutic approach called Internal Family Systems, and how it can help us re-frame the way we deal with big emotional challenges. One of the things she mentioned in our conversation really resonated with me, and I wanted to dig a little deeper into it a little more today. Rebecca talked about how many people these days are stuck living only in their head, totally cut off from their emotions. We talked more in that episode about the research and the reasons behind WHY that’s happening, which I think is fascinating. If you didn’t listen that to that conversation yet, definitely check that out too. I’ll link our conversation up in the show notes.

But this experience of detaching from FEELING our emotions and relying on our heads alone to process what’s going on for us emotionally was something I could really relate to. I’ve spent most of my life INTELLECTUALIZING my emotions. Up until ten years ago or so, I didn’t really FEEL them in my body or in my soul at all. I mostly saw my emotions as some puzzle that needed to be figured out or solved. And in order to do that, I needed to keep some distance from them. I needed to bury them a little before I could look at them objectively. I relied heavily on trying to put a positive spin on things, on “letting things go”, and analyzing what was happening, rather than actually FEELING the emotions that were coming up for me.

But in doing that, I really was just suppressing, and often completely invalidating, what was really happening inside of me. At the time, I truly didn’t realize I wasn’t feeling those emotions. I just thought I was “being mature” or “staying in control” or “expressing myself in a healthy way.” Those were all fancy ways of saying that I was avoiding the real pain of experiencing my own feelings.  

Show Notes:

Resources & Links Mentioned in this Episode:

When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron

Comfortable with Uncertainty by Pema Chodron

EFT and Matrix Reimprinting

Internal Family Systems

WPR071: How Internal Family Systems Can Change Your Approach to Work, Parenting & Life with Rebecca Ching

The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown

The Argenal Institute Website

Free Consultation

Email me:

About The Argenal Institute:

The Working Parent Resource Podcast is a place where we explore how to defeat burnout as working parents so we can finally enjoy these precious years of our lives. My name is Sarah Argenal, and I’m the host of this show, as well as the founder of The Argenal Institute, and creator of the Whole SELF Lifestyle™, which provides a sustainable and long-term approach to fulfillment for working parents. The show notes for this episode, as well as other resources, free training materials, and information about the Whole SELF Lifestyle™ can all be found on our website at


This show is sponsored by The Argenal Institute Library, a hub of practical guides, challenges, and training materials that will help you implement what you learn on this show. Check out our featured resource, a free taste of the Whole SELF Lifestyle™.


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